A Big Heart (a follow-up)

I once wrote about a sahaba who had a big heart. The Prophet (saw) thrice stated that this sahaba will be granted heaven, based on his bigheartedness. Big, meaning he was generous; not envious; carried no ill will; and was humble. Attempting to inculcate the same is a difficult battle, especially with our social media, consumer orientation and a complex (dog eat dog) society.

Strategically to achieve bigheartedness we need to excel in :-

A) putting total trust in Allah. Simply put, a huge test, because you will be called on to make self sacrifice. This literally means sacrificing time, money or personal space for others. That sacrifice eventually delivers positive results. The balance sheet actually comes out in the black.

  

B) not having an ego. Most of our actions in life are a function of ego. To counter that, it means thinking one is not superior to anyone. Once you get in that space, this inevitably leads to daily challenges. You have to hug and control yourself and behave humbly. It’s a daily battle, but it becomes easier with time and practice.  

C) not judging others. This is not quite ego. Rather, can be your own filters driving your biases. Let the judgement be at Allah’s door. Want a large unfettered heart, then become non-judgmental. As part of this effort, I totally disconnected from Twitter. That medium tends to be mean, aggressive and battles take place on it all the time. On Twitter, one would struggle to have a good view of mankind. Also, one could stop watching news channels, as they create negativity in themselves and fan the flame (news can be obtained online quite easily!). This judgmental drive will test you. You might fail on a daily basis, but you can at least at the end of the day, leave negativity behind and go cleansed into tomorrow.

D) anger and irritation. While this may also be a function of ego, but predominantly is driven by the frequency, speed and expectation of things nowadays. Stop expecting people to behave well, stop expecting people to deliver responsibly, stop expecting that you will get what you want. Generally, this is the easiest of the lot to achieve. And yes we all make mistakes, so when you lose your temper, go back to the concerned person and apologize. Do not become self righteous. A sincere apology now,  delivers wonders later.

E) handling real hurt and unfairness. There are such pains in life. The best one can do, is review ones own errors in life, apologize to others and use these same evaluations to forgive others who have wronged you in turn. Use First Ramadan every year for an evaluation. It should be a specific occasion and by name and event forgive those who might have dealt you a backhander. It is easier said than done....Through the rest of Ramadan, you should constantly remind yourself of the forgiveness given. By the end of Ramadan, generally, the forgiveness will be real and embedded.

The above is my personal formula to attempt a difficult and elusive gold basket. Needless to say, one is still striving to make it work, but it does lead to a lot of personal satisfaction and some element of clear conscience.


https://sarfarazar.blogspot.com/2017/06/a-big-heart.html

Our Home ❤

The question is simply what makes a home and how much is it worth to one? 

My home was handed down to me by my elders, and it is old and it is dilapidated in places. it has got some rotten pipes and wiring and  at times it is frustrating to maintain it. Some of the residents are much favoured, while others are less so. And the family fights and oft times there is injustice in the decisions. But for all the problems, it is my home, has been all my life and it is my identity. For the life of me, I have never been able to nor have any wish to be out of this home. Because it is mine and I love it. And to be truthful, what someone else (from another place) thinks of it, is of little relevance.   

My home Is identified by an old, upright, stately man, the likes of whom I cannot see anywhere in the last century. It is identified, by high mountains, rivers, deserts, large fields, by another bearded human who gave his life working for the needy, by a man holding a crystal glass trophy aloft and then making a cancer hospital, by a painter who painted Allah's words every which way, by a poet whose words and wisdom will survive till the end, and by two women who brought our home awards on the world stage, for their courage and strength. It has had singers and artists galore and writers who the world admires.   

It is no ordinary place and as I get older it brings a bigger wrench to the heart to see it suffering. More and more, it's songs bring tears to the eye and it's young bring a shine and glitter. I cannot define this love affair which has lasted a lifetime, but I know that by changing my green book for a red or blue one will not bring happiness. This home of mine has been given to me by my Quaid's generation and for better or worse, one will live and die here.

My prayer on this day is that we live together, we are just to our people, we love all and do our best. Rest we leave to Allah, who made this home on 27th Ramadan, for what purpose only He knows.

A very happy 70th birthday to Pakistan, our home!💖💖💖