A Big Heart (a follow-up)

I once wrote about a sahaba who had a big heart. The Prophet (saw) thrice stated that this sahaba will be granted heaven, based on his bigheartedness. Big, meaning he was generous; not envious; carried no ill will; and was humble. Attempting to inculcate the same is a difficult battle, especially with our social media, consumer orientation and a complex (dog eat dog) society.

Strategically to achieve bigheartedness we need to excel in :-

A) putting total trust in Allah. Simply put, a huge test, because you will be called on to make self sacrifice. This literally means sacrificing time, money or personal space for others. That sacrifice eventually delivers positive results. The balance sheet actually comes out in the black.

  

B) not having an ego. Most of our actions in life are a function of ego. To counter that, it means thinking one is not superior to anyone. Once you get in that space, this inevitably leads to daily challenges. You have to hug and control yourself and behave humbly. It’s a daily battle, but it becomes easier with time and practice.  

C) not judging others. This is not quite ego. Rather, can be your own filters driving your biases. Let the judgement be at Allah’s door. Want a large unfettered heart, then become non-judgmental. As part of this effort, I totally disconnected from Twitter. That medium tends to be mean, aggressive and battles take place on it all the time. On Twitter, one would struggle to have a good view of mankind. Also, one could stop watching news channels, as they create negativity in themselves and fan the flame (news can be obtained online quite easily!). This judgmental drive will test you. You might fail on a daily basis, but you can at least at the end of the day, leave negativity behind and go cleansed into tomorrow.

D) anger and irritation. While this may also be a function of ego, but predominantly is driven by the frequency, speed and expectation of things nowadays. Stop expecting people to behave well, stop expecting people to deliver responsibly, stop expecting that you will get what you want. Generally, this is the easiest of the lot to achieve. And yes we all make mistakes, so when you lose your temper, go back to the concerned person and apologize. Do not become self righteous. A sincere apology now,  delivers wonders later.

E) handling real hurt and unfairness. There are such pains in life. The best one can do, is review ones own errors in life, apologize to others and use these same evaluations to forgive others who have wronged you in turn. Use First Ramadan every year for an evaluation. It should be a specific occasion and by name and event forgive those who might have dealt you a backhander. It is easier said than done....Through the rest of Ramadan, you should constantly remind yourself of the forgiveness given. By the end of Ramadan, generally, the forgiveness will be real and embedded.

The above is my personal formula to attempt a difficult and elusive gold basket. Needless to say, one is still striving to make it work, but it does lead to a lot of personal satisfaction and some element of clear conscience.


https://sarfarazar.blogspot.com/2017/06/a-big-heart.html

A Big Heart

Abdullah bin Amr bin Al Aas was one of the first Sahabas to record the Hadith. He is credited with over a thousand Hadith and Abu Huraira swore by his knowledge. In his recordings is one iconic event, which sheds light on this struggle to reach goodness.          

   

Abdullah bin Amr records that he was one of the most constant in worship; he fasted everyday and said prayers all night. Then one day the Prophet Muhammad (saw) advised him to reduce it to alternate days fasting and a third of the night as prayers. Such were the huge efforts of worship of this man, that he was advised reduction by the Prophet (saw).     

        

So on a day when prayer was about to take place in Masjid Nabawi, a man walked in after wuduu and the Prophet (saw) mentioned that a Jannati has just walked in. We shall not name the Sahaba, for the name is irrelevant to the essence. The next day, the same Sahaba walked in again and the Prophet (saw) made the same statement. And so it occurred on a third day. Abdullah ibn Amr was present on all three days, and was greatly perturbed, as he considered himself to be the most diligent in practice of the faith in Allah(swt). A man who possessed a learning mind, Abdullah ibn Amr, asked the particular Sahaba, that he wished to live with him for a time to learn from him. That wish was granted.          

       

In his three days of residence with the Sahaba, Abdullah bin Amr found that the particular Sahaba lived an unexceptional life. He prayed the five prayers at the mosque; did all the daily activities of existence; did nothing wrong; helped others; participated in the community; but also did not do anything overly exceptional. Perturbed and disappointed, Abdullah decided to depart, but before doing so, questioned the Sahaba on his status and why the Prophet (saw) declared him a Jannati. The Sahaba smiled, but refused to shed any light on this conundrum. After much insistence and refusal, Abdullah disappointed departed to his home. As he was leaving the house, his host called him back. Perhaps, out of sympathy he had reconsidered and decided to answer Abdullah.    

His words should be looked at by all of us who are desirous of good, feel the next world is our real objective and that this world is but a playground test.  

      

The Sahaba said " I think that the Prophet (saw) has seen my heart. In this heart there is no keena or bughz. I have an open heart. I share all I have and I have no rancour against anyone. I do not envy anyone. I hold no anger against anyone. My heart is like a clean slate". Abdullah bin Amr spontaneously burst out with admiration and said "yes that is the one. So easy to say, but the most difficult thing in the world." 

  

Truly the Prophet (saw) had seen the deepest part of this mans heart. And set us on a path which can take us to our ultimate destination.      

       

For my part, I can count on my fingers the times when I have recognised a big heart. Such people are extremely rare. They are open, charming, ready to give their all to everyone. They have no arrogance and they are rarely unhappy. Even when hurt, these people never withdraw their goodwill. They will not complain and do not indulge in gossip or hurt. If they rarely get angry, they shortly will forget it and moreover will apologise if need be. They have no agendas and life is a road which is traveled as an adventure, touching as many lives with tenderness as possible. But at the same time, the belief in Allah is their guiding light and it is demonstrated by goodness to humanity.

If you find such a being, then know that you have discovered gold and do not let this person out of your grasp. We can all testify that there are so few of them around. 

 *Abdullah bin Amr Al Aas wrote Al-Sahifah al-Sadiqah. He carried the banner at Yarmuk, but refused to throw an arrow in Siffin, as he only participated to obey his father, but would not raise his hands against other Muslims. He remained reclusive and non-political all his life.  Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal incorporated the whole of the work of Abdullah ibn Amr in his voluminous book Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal.