He walked past on the other side of the road. Had I not been looking directly at him, it would be impossible to recognise him. The height was the same, but his weight had gone up slightly. No wonder, it was more than fifteen years since I had seen him. The hairline was receding somewhat. But then he was into his mid forties.
Like a magnet, I turned and followed, keeping a safe distance and also on the other side of the road. The mid-day office crowd gave me further safety, and his slow walk ensured that I could follow easily. Eventually, he walked into a sandwich bar. It was a large place and I found my own place in a safe corner, so that I could observe him. Some of the posture was familiar, but the slight slouch, belied my image of a bubbly strapping young man, just fifteen years ago.
He used to be one of my good friends, prep school onwards and we belonged to a group of seven friends, who were now unfortunately spread all over the world. Only two of us remained in our home town. Not to mention his presence. Visiting probably! I could remember the last time we met, fifteen years ago. Outside his house, a sad hug and tears in the eyes. A knowledge that this parting may be for a long time. And so it had turned out. I so wanted to go over and sit with him, but the unknown circumstances caused apprehension.
For almost two and half decades, we had trundled in and out of each other’s house and spent nights and played cards, cricket and hockey. We tried studying together, but neither had the concentration to study long hours, in company. Till that fateful summer, when my younger cousin came to live with us. She was like his soul twin. Bubbly, beautiful and just right. I saw it happen, with some foreboding. I knew her parents and also that she was spoken for. If he bent one way, she bent the other to balance him. It was love and really true love. There was not much one could do, to help or stop it. Fate was taking its path.
Alas, they were discovered and a massive fight ensued between the families which ground on through the summer. Becoming deeper and more complex. They kept meeting surreptitiously and then again got caught. That meant he could not visit anymore and nor could I go to his house. It broke them, I think. True love can do that. Few months later he was gone, taking an assignment abroad, not to return for so long. No contacts, numbers, meeting other friends. He had deliberately cut himself off from his past.
What of her. Such a prodigious woman, yet broken. She went home and then inevitably, the promised proposal never happened. I think she would have run away. She did in a way. Studied further and became a researcher and led a secluded and quiet single life. There were no new loves for the likes of these soul companions. There could not be. The hair had gone partially grey and there was a slight frown behind the smile. The researcher was doing important groundbreaking work and her life was taken up in it. This was now a serious professional driven by her work, with no distractions. She had replaced him.
Long I pondered and as he got up, I made my decision. Followed him down the road and surprisingly he went into an office, which I knew. The receptionist confirmed that he was working there. I turned away for a later time, as much work waited at the office.
That evening I camped outside his office, waiting for him to emerge. The shock and surprise were stamped on his face, but the smile was the same genuine one.
“Abba died and I had to come back, as Amma was alone”. What was he doing. He was doing creative work and was the marketing manager. Married? Of course not. Would he like a cup of tea? No. Amma was waiting. But I could go with him. It’s not the same old house, is much smaller and in a different area. And so we spent our first evening together for eons. Much later, when comfort had returned, I asked, do you know that She is here in town and unmarried. His eyes glittered, but all he asked was is She ok? Sort of. I told him. His eyes were masked and there was no reaction. Would you like to meet? Mushkil! We are mid forties and have changed.
That day in bed I just felt totally depressed. In the end I decided surely it is worth one try. Next day, I called her and she was soft and courteous. Yes we can meet. The surprise and masking of the eye was a mirror, when I told her. The reply was almost the same. Too late. Time has taken its toll. We have travelled different roads.
All week my mind kept returning to them. What a waste. Surely, life can smile on these two one more time. Finally, I thought I needed to plot a meeting. How to do it though? There was no way out, but to take a personal risk. I got on the phone and one Saturday afternoon, I met him in a familiar coffee house. We chatted a bit. I was watching him when She walked in. White knuckles holding the spoon. Her look, besides the inevitable surprise, fiery accusatory eyes directed at me. Rueful smile aside, I looked at her and said “I honestly think you owe each other at least a conversation. Fifteen years of ones life is no mean time. At least drink a coffee together.” Her eyes softened and she came and sat down. After little bits of chit chat, I departed.
That evening and night was restless. I spent much time on the roof, under the lamp, reading and hoping. Though there was little hope in my mind. Next morning late Sunday, She called to say she is coming over. I almost hoped. A slow conversation turned eventually to him. “Yes she did love him. But you know passion slows. Her career was more important now. It was all she had. Her parents are old now and she did not want to cause any further problems. Also her company was transferring her for a year to Europe on a project. That was important to her. True, we had agreed to stay in touch and chat and talk. It’s nice to talk to him.” Sigh!
I can just see that there is love, but then something unseen has come in-between. They will love from a distance, in a box. “Waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam”. That is all I could think, Waheeda Rahman, Guru Dutt and Kaghaz ke Phool. Nevertheless, a year is a long time; she will return and I am still around to work on this. I cannot believe that there is no hope.
